I really haven’t had much to talk about, and in all honesty I would love to have a really light hearted post that is full of shits and giggles but I am just not feeling it at the moment. I would like to take a brief moment on this weight loss blog to honor a woman who touched my heart in many many ways. A fantastically fierce woman, who was not afraid to be herself, who was amazing, and beautiful, and witty, and as she called her self shnarky, she was was someone I never met face to face (I wish I had) but I consider her a wonderful friend.
I met this woman on MFP, and just like many of my friends over there she quickly became a source of inspiration, motivation, entertainment and so very much more. Her name was Nancy and when I first met her, her screen name was nleisher – she told me she lacked creativity – which was pretty far from the truth and I learned that shortly after. I met her in a forum randomly, she was hilarious and I loved that.
I found out on Thursday that Nancy passed away. I was in shock at first, and I sat looking at the text that was on my cell phone, the text that said she was gone and then I started to cry. Not just a tear or two either, I sobbed like a little baby in my office for a good 15 minutes. Just as I thought I had gotten my leaky eyes under control I read status’ of our mutual friends and her wall and my god I cried like a baby a little bit more (ok a whole hell of a lot more). The amount of love that showed up in a community of people who in reality are strangers (as in majority of us have never met in person) was amazing to me, to know that just because you haven’t seen a person in real life, we all touch each other.
I had convinced my self that Nancy went on a holiday with her family, and that she would return in a few weeks, with some fantastic stories about fantastic journeys somewhere. The logical side of my brain knows its not true, that I will never get another PM from this woman or a funny update or a woofuckinhoo from her when I lose another pound but it was easier to pretend that she was just off doing something awesome – it made my heart hurt a little less. That was until today, when I was searching for her blog, a blog that she shared with me shortly after we became friends on the site… but I lost the address to because I lost all my bookmarks. I stumbled across her obituary and it really hit me, she isn’t coming back she is gone.
I may have never met Nancy in real life but she was a friend, a true friend. Someone I could reach out to at anytime and know she would have some kind of wonderful answer, or someone who could make me laugh so hard even when I wanted to cry, and someone who would tell me I was being a goddamn pussy when I needed to hear it. I would give ANYTHING to receive a PM from her right now that said “you are being a pussy stop it.”
My heart goes out to her family, her babies, her parents, everyone she ever touched in some way. The world lost a real treasure when she passed away.
Nancy – keep running in the garden of the gods, and give em hell girl…