I Don’t Know Me Anymore Either.

This post made it to my facebook  on Wednesday evening “While I wish I was going to Manson tonight… I decided to spend my ticket money on the Spartan Sprint… I thought I would be more sad about this… but honestly, I am way to excited.. Yeah I don’t even know me anymore either so don’t worry.”     And it is the truth.  I do not know me anymore, if you had asked me last year I would have said “Oh no this concert is important I HAVE TO GO!!! I have been waiting to see Manson since I was 16 years old, I am not missing this.”  A year later and as I said I would have loved to have gone, Manson was big part of my music life when I was a teenager, but I decided that the Spartan Sprint would be more fun.  It is unbelievable how much one person can change in such a short time.  Hell even just the change in my attitude since 20 days ago is amazing.  I would have never in my life ever thought that I would look forward to getting off the couch and sweating and maybe its just the goal of getting a medal at the end of the Spartan Sprint or what but something in me clicked and I am really pushing myself.

While we are on the topic of pushing myself, 7 more work outs, 2 rest days.  That is how long I have left in month 1 of Insanity.  Doesn’t sound like much but when you normally give up after a few days of muscle soreness this is huge.  Like so big it would make a sauropod look small – THAT’S HUGE people.  Seriously I am the girl that gives up after any kind of a sweat looks like it might break out.   So sticking to something is pretty big, especially something this intense.

In the 20 days that I have been doing Insanity I have learned a lot about myself.  Mostly, that if I want something bad enough I can actually accomplish it.  Don’t get me wrong I STILL hate loath exercise, its like pulling teeth most nights but I do it, I have seen physical improvement, I haven’t seen much in the way of appearance changing and I put the scale away because that fucking piece of shit glass and metal contraption just kept telling me I was gaining weight and it was making me sad, so I have no clue where my weight is and it is kind of nice to not worry about it.   I have also lived through the most extreme muscle soreness that I have ever had in my entire life – ENTIRE LIFE, never in my life have I wanted to set up camp at the bottom of a set of stairs and try again in the morning, it happened this time.  I have NEVER in my life actually said “I can’t do that right now I  am going to work out, we can do it later though if that’s OK?”  I did that the other day.  I have a lot of firsts, but I think the biggest first came last night.

Last night while doing these fucking power jumps shit I pulled a fucking muscle.  Now usually a pulled muscle is pretty minor, this was NOT a minor muscle pull I thought I was going to die.  It pulled or some shit and holy Christ it hurt.  It hurt so bad I actually cried, not even on the inside straight up ugly girl cried in the middle of my living room repeating “Why body?  Why must you do this to me?!” In the past this kind of thing would have made me stop the video and go to bed and never look at the fucking thing again but instead something weird happened.  I paused the video, rolled around on the floor, cried for a bit got up restarted where I left off and continued.  Now I didn’t do all the moves the way I normally do, I had to modify some of it – moving push-ups don’t happen on the best of days (you know being uncoordinated and all) but I normally hold Plank, or do regular pushups, last night I did ‘girl’ push-ups on my knees – it made me sad, but I pushed myself as far as I could without thinking I was going to die, I still worked up a hell of a sweat and I still got a decent burn.  Today however; it is not nice, I am not sure if I will be able to do my work out because it hurts to sit but we will see what it is like tonight, if worst comes to worst I will take tonight off and then do my workout in the morning.

Sorry if this post was  a bit all over I just needed to get some things out of my mind.

In closing, I am going to leave you with this little bit of sunshine.  If you have tiny t-rex arms  a hardwood floor that you workout on and you are sweating like crazy take caution when you are doing push ups.  Tiny T-Rex arms do not posses a lot of strength and sweat makes floors slippery, and you will inevitably end up kissing the floor- and the floor doesn’t kiss back, just so you know.

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