27 days

Friday came, and Friday went.  It also marked the ‘end’ of month one.  That is right 27 days of insanity have been completed.  Now that doesn’t sound like a whole lot but that is 27 more days than I normally stick to anything.  I have no idea what my weight loss is as I put my scale away, and actually took one of the batteries out of it so I cannot step on it until the end of March.  I did this not for any major reason other than seeing the scale go up and up and up was demoralizing – I would literally beat myself up emotionally when I saw the number on the scale.  My ending weight in January was back to 209.8, logically I know that it was because I just started working out again, and lets be honest its the first time I have really ever worked out this hard since I was in school – and even then I dropped phys ed. in grade 8 or 9; so  my muscles (or what I think are muscles) were retaliating and holding on to some water and just being cranky making the number on the scale my nemesis.   I can say, I feel pretty good not weighing myself, I am concentrating more on being better at working out than an actual number.

I can say that if you had asked me 28 days if I would by typing this I would have laughed at you.  Hell if you had asked me 25 days ago if I would be looking forward to the next fit test I probably would have punched you in the face, or attempted to, because I was sure that I was going to die a very painful death that involved my body going into rigor mortis while I was still breathing – not joking. When I finished day 27, I stood in the middle of my living room and did a really lame fist pump. Why a fist pump?  Well because I was still standing, yes in a puddle of my own sweat but I was standing, and I had just completed a month of something I said I would NEVER do.  I am currently on a rest day going into the recovery week and then I will be starting month 2 – I am a little bit nervous for month 2, but if I can do month one I can do month two… I hope.

The only thing I wish I had changed about this whole working out thing is my measurements,  I never took them so I will never know how many inches I truly lost but one can only assume that my measurements were basically the same as the last time I took them as my weight hadn’t changed and my clothes were fitting no differently – they are now.

Anyways enough about working out, I am tired of talking about it.

I really haven’t had much going on in my life that is worth talking about lately, my hands have stopped peeling,  my feet however; not so much.  My feet are terrifying at the moment.  The skin on them has now decided that it no longer wants to be a part of that part of my body.  I don’t blame it I wouldn’t want to either because they are gross but still, this shit needs to stop by the time I am able to wear my flip flops!

Oh I also was asked out on a date, it didn’t happen.  I am pretty sure the guy thinks I do not like him – not true  do but I am so awkward and shy that its really hard for me to get over it. I just wish there was a way I could say “hey, I like you”.  I realize I am 30 and even at 30 boys still scare me.  Well boys I like still scare me, I feel like an 18 year old again, and I really dislike it, I was sure by the time I turned 30 that would change but alas – no.   I think the worst part is this guy isn’t even a stranger, I know him.  I have known him for quite a while – so I really feel stupid for not being more outgoing. Gah.



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