A lot has transpired over the last 30 days. The scale and I are on a completely official break – as in I have broke up with it and the chances of us reconciling our differences is pretty slim at the moment.. I know logically I will forgive it eventual but for now we are not even frenemies. I have also decided that while I am staying away from the scale I will befriend my tape measure; although I would much rather not befriend any type of measuring tool what-so-ever, they all seem to tie into my self worth and I know a number is not who or what I really am.
But on April 1st I did take my measurements they are as follows:
Height: 4’9.5” (The only constant number of my life)
Pant size: 16/18 (depending on brand/stretchiness)
Shirt size: L/XL – don’t ask me a number size because honestly I have no idea
Dress size: big? the last dress I bought was a Large – what ever that is in numbers yeah I don’t know I am not a very good girl
Under bust: 37.5
Upper stomach: 41.5
Thighs: Left: 27.5 Right: 28 (fuck that’s the size of some peoples waist)
Calves: Left: 19.5 Right 19
Arms: (Both) 16
The numbers are not pretty, but they are what they are, and I will continue to try and make them better. I will be taking out said tape measure tomorrow and doing my measurements, once a month is more than enough for me.
As of April 17th I have been lane swimming at 6am every morning, at least 3 times a week. My actual aim is for 4-5 but for right now 3 times has been all I have been able to manage. I swim between 45 and 50 minute a day. The pool I go to is 25 meters and I am able to do 50 lengths in 45 minutes, when I started on the 17th I was only able to do 38 in 40 minutes so my numbers have increased. Of course I have a spreadsheet tracking all the numbers which allows me to see how many meters I swam in a week, and how many minutes I have spent in the pool. I have it set for a month right now but I will continue to monitor my progress.
I am not a morning person by any means and dragging my ass out of bed at 5:30am is quite difficult but once I am in the pool, it is worth the while and I have found that my moods are a thousand times better all day after my swim, I do not rely on caffeine all day, I still have my one cup of coffee in the morning after my swim but that is it. Initially I was really worried about my food though because I was starving all the time and I started making really poor choices when it came to foods. It has since leveled off and is back to normal.
The last thing that has changed is I have quit tracking my calories. I am giving Intuitive Eating a shot to see if I can get this under control with out numbers. I find myself getting so caught up in numbers that I stop doing what I know I need to do because if it fits the numbers than it can’t be bad right? Well obviously that mentality is not working for me as I am back up to 213 (or more). I am going to give it a serious go, I know how much I am eating – I average 1750 calories a day, and with swimming I should be fine.
I really am hoping to get back to blogging more, and after reading all the last entries I really think this blog has become my vocal spot for exercise, and eating healthy. I will try to blog more about other things