It has been a while since I wrote here, and by a while I mean almost forever. I didn’t have much to say – well I did but honestly it was all jumbled and I didn’t know how to say it.
A lot is happening in my life, I am still training for my Spartan, I updated my goals for 2014 to include a Spartan Sprint, a Dirty Donkey (mud run), a Color Me Rad (if it comes back – I hope it does) and Mogathon 5K possibly 10K.
My brother and his Fiancé have also set a date for their wedding, which is in August of next year. I am doing a speech and would like to look as amazing as I possibly can for their wedding so that is a little but of a kick in the pants too – 304 days to get things sorted out.
Enough with the life updates though….
It is no secret that the scale just doesn’t move for me. I am sitting between 224 – 227 pounds for weeks, literally WEEKS. MONTHS. I gave up weighing myself this month because it was really taking a toll on my mental state I started to have some really major negative self talk, so I gave up (well not really but fuck the scale, seriously.) I also quit paying attention to those “fitsperation” pictures that are all over the internet – you know headless torsos with glistening golden abs, yeah that shit just makes me feel even less motivated. Than there was a moment on MFP, a wonderful moment where an amazing woman on my friends list (well she is there now) made a post for REAL people fitsperation. The thread blew up with so many amazing women and men with so many awesome pictures and I figured what the hell I will take part as well, so I took a photo from color me rad, and I put something on it and I posted it. I got several PM’s about it and how people needed to see that; to be honest it took me by surprise. I then shared it on facebook – something I never do because I don’t like putting myself out there with people I actually really know.
Something amazing happened though my friend Kate over at This is Not a Diet shared the picture, then my friend Bry over at Heels in the Gym (I will get the link when I get home as itis a Facebook link and I am at work without access to the site) shared it , as did my friend Leah over at Leah: Not Otherwise Specified shared it (and I believe more did as well but I am not sure) and so many people said so many wonderful things and if you are reading this from there – I don’t think I can put into words how it made me feel, but THANK YOU. Seriously those words helped me in ways you will probably never imagine.
Shortly after that there was a photo shared on my news feed it too set me in the mode for Non-scale Victories (NSVs) and not so much in the number on the scale.
Since then I have been getting my butt out of bed and going to the gym in the dark because where I am the sun doesn’t shine until almost 7:30am, hitting the track in the morning and pushing as hard as I can for 30 – 40 minutes before work. I am currently using the Zombies Run! Training app on my phone and am loving it, its like I am playing a video game rather than actually working out and once I complete that I will be buying the other apps that they have. If you are looking for something to keep you going give it a try! This app has gotten me a few NSVs as of late, the biggest one being today. I ran for 5 minutes straight, only stopping once to tie my shoe and then walking a small amount before starting to run again. This was just a warm up, once I finished that I moved into the walk/run drills where I completed the walk 1 minute, run 1 minute, do 10 knee lifts 5 times, an 8 minute free form (where I walked and ran) 2 minutes of stretching and then another 8 minute free form. I also got kicked off the “fast walking” lane and told I could use the running lane on the track!! Of course it was 6am and there were only 3 of us on the track – 2 older gentlemen and myself and later an older woman but still this made me feel good. I will be back to the fast walking lane tomorrow though as I am sure the other guy that uses the track in the morning will be back and I don’t want to interrupt his work out.
This is a huge deal to me because I am not a runner, I have never been a runner and I never thought I ever would be a runner. Even in school I hated running it made me want to die, I am slow very slow and my short little legs always left me at the very back of the pack and finishing way after everyone else had already moved on to something else so. I also look forward to going to the gym in the morning, so much so that my brother asked me who I was and what I did with the other me.
So, the scale may not be moving but you know what? I am okay with it, because my running is getting better. I know I will never be a Usain Bolt, but I can be a better, stronger, harder, faster me and right now that is the most important thing.