When I last updated my blog over 2 months ago I was working out regularly, in the park. It was chilly but not cold, there was no snow and I was happy. A couple weeks later it had snowed, it got colder and to be honest my workouts went from fairly regular to non existent, and then I decided I needed to work on my personal life and and the health side of life just disappeared and I got lazy. I know, I know balance is the key to life. I kind of suck at the balance part sometimes, it will get better in the New Year I have a plan. I will talk about it in a different blog post at a later date.
The last 2 months have been filled with a lot of things, mostly me not going to the gym and then I decided to try my hand at dating… again. It was a terrible idea but I learned a lot about me.
At first I met a man that seemed like the best person on earth. Things were going great, we had fun when we saw each other and then one weekend he went out of town and I haven’t heard from him since. Which is fine, he was obviously not someone I would want to spend time with because really what kind of person just disappears? I decided to not let it deter me from anything and I went back out there to try again – because one bad egg doesn’t mean they are all that way.
I put my profile on a new dating site and I met a few very interesting men, and by interesting mean completely creepy and not OK in the head at all. Majority of those never went past a first message or two on the site. Of course there were a few that did and they ended up being, not at all like the way they portrayed themselves in text or in photos. One of the guys I went out with looked about 10 years older than his photos. We met for coffee and about half way through I knew it wasn’t going to be anything, which is fine, you have to go through a lot of people to meet someone worth your time and I know that. However; after our meeting for coffee I received a rejection letter, that was special. It made it sound like I was being passed over for a job I had applied for and the major contributing factor of the rejection was my weight.
Then I met a man, who seemed very nice in text we went out for dinner one night the conversation was pretty good, although he made mention of his ex which automatically sent up a couple red flags for me but I figured maybe it was just a conversation and it was nothing serious. We continued to talk and I went for coffee with him, again the ex came up but you know I like to be fair (I shouldn’t but I do) we continued talking in text but didn’t see each other again. It was my choice to not see him again, I have been busy and I found out that this man knows the guy that disappeared on me, which is weird all by itself but I just let it go, I didn’t mention it to him or anything as I was processing. As the time went on all he would talk about was his ex and how terrible she was and how she ruins his life and I shut down. I was not dating this man we were getting to know each other and I couldn’t get to know him because all he would talk about was his ex. Today he sent me a message asking if we were going to have a relationship, I looked at the message and answered as honestly as I could. I told him that I didn’t see a relationship happening, that I was sorry if he felt I lead him on but I just couldn’t do it. His response was better than I expected but it did include that I was just like every other woman who lied and told him half truths, and the kicker??? It was obviously his ex interfering with his life again. Truth is, it wasn’t. It had nothing to do with his Ex. I don’t know her, I don’t want to know her and I was not going to lead him on. I couldn’t lead him on, and in all honestly my heart wasn’t in getting to know him better.
I removed myself from every dating site I was on earlier this month by choice I was done dealing with crazy, I just can’t handle it and decided if someone wants to find me and fall in love with me so be it but I am done with the whole online dating thing.
I will confess though that as of late there is this guy that has kind of worked himself into my life really unexpectedly. This guy is not like the others above, there is something about him that is so different. He is kind, he is funny, he is sweet, to be quite honest he’s pretty amazing. He has been a friend of mine on a fitness site for a while, I have sat quietly, reading updates and randomly talking to him about nothing really just things. We have quite a bit in common and he has always been a wonderful friend. Recently though I had to be honest with myself, I liked him… a lot, it kind of just happened and I can’t even explain when or how but I kept it to myself because I don’t like rejection and well lets be honest he lives 0ver 3000 kilometers away from me so chances are he would think I was a bit of a nutter. The other day I made a random post about something and he made a comment and I took that as chance to see what would happen. I sent him a PM telling him the status was about him (it really was, it wasn’t a lie) and things just went from there. I have no idea if it will pan out to be more than it is, I really do hope it will go farther than just a text thing, but for right now I really am enjoying it for what it is.