As 2013 comes to an end I have been reflecting on the good, and the bad. There are a lot of things I could dwell on, like not meeting a single goal of mine in the weight loss department, in fact I failed so hard on those goals it is almost laughable. August 17th I was 220 pounds, the last time I stepped on the scale I was 222 pounds and if I stepped on the scale right now I would probably be close to 230 pounds, and on my tiny frame it is really way too much weight to be carrying.
Sometimes it is hard to NOT dwell on the fact that instead of losing weight I gained weight, and up until a couple weeks ago I was doing everything right, weighing and measuring food, eating properly, drinking tons of water, exercising, and then I stopped because you know, it’s Christmas and it seemed like the thing to do. It was stupid I know this, but I do have a plan for the New Year.
There are things that happened in 2013 that were so amazing that I they over power the negatives. I did 2 things I never thought I would ever do one being the Spartan Sprint. It was tough, it was mentally and physically exhausting but it was worth it. I proved to myself that I was capable of a lot of things that I didn’t think was possible. I also met two very lovely ladies from MyFitnessPal and without them I highly doubt I would have ever finished the race. The second was partaking and finishing a Color Me Rad 5K, alone. I finished in under an hour (okay so more like 2 minutes under an hour, but I finished it in under an hour and that was my goal). Both of these things are something I never ever saw myself competing in let alone finishing.
I have spent a lot of the year working on myself, being nicer to myself, being happier, and being a better me. It has not been easy at all, to retrain my brain has been a very uphill battle and I didn’t realize how much I had overcome until a friend over on MFP put out a challenge to write a list of 100 things that make you awesome, I took on the challenge but was sure I wouldn’t make it past 6 things, to my amazement I finished it and with not too much work, some of the things were silly but it was still a list of 100 things that make me awesome, so that is a major plus.
Along with working on inner self I decided to start dating. It was a disaster, of colossal proportions but I have received enough material to create a book on how to and how not to succeed in the dating world, starting with what to NOT ask someone in the first message (Hint: “How’s your vagina today?” Is not the way to start a conversation). I lasted in the dating world 3 months, which is 3 months longer than I have made it many times before, I decided to stop trying and live life the way I had been before. I even made the comment “I will live out my days in cyber space and if someone happens to find me and fall in love with me so be it because I am not going to go out of my way to meet someone it is just too damn difficult.” Little did I realize that it could be true, shortly after saying it I met someone who has effectively worked his way into my life, the only small issue is he lives thousands of miles away from me, which is really a small issue in the grand scheme of things.
What does 2014 have in store for me? I don’t know I would like to think a lot of amazing things, starting with actually meeting my fitness goals, sticking to my plan, finding a love of fitness (I really would like to achieve this), some travels, meeting the amazing man who has stolen my heart and broke me in the best possible way.
My only resolution for the upcoming year is to stop biting my nails, it has been my resolution for the last 24ish years and I have never actually stuck to it, maybe 2014 will be my lucky year.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, filled with love and joy, and wish you all the best in 2014. What has been good for you in the past year? What do you want to accomplish in 2014? And what are your resolutions if you make them?